Episode Transcript
[00:00:04] Well, good morning, church. Happy Sunday.
[00:00:07] I hope you've had a blessed week.
[00:00:11] Pastor Craig is not here today. As you can tell, I'm not a very good stand in for him. When we were leaving, my daughter was saying to my wife, she said, my wife was kind of trying to fix my hair. And she said, are you trying to make his hair like Pastor Craig's? And I said, that's never going to happen, okay? I don't have enough hair.
[00:00:32] And next week I'll probably have even less as time goes on anyway. But Pastor Craig is in North Carolina. He was at a wedding. I heard there was no electricity there. So, yeah, that's kind of hard, right? We take electricity for granted. Grateful that we have electricity here today as we can meet.
[00:00:55] Well, today we have a wonderful message. We're continuing our study in two Corinthians. And as we get started here, if we could just begin with a word of prayer. Let's give this time to the Lord God in heaven. We are so glad that you have sent your one and only son, Jesus, to be our savior, to be our Lord God. He came and lived the truth. He was the truth. He spoke the truth. And that's what we need more than anything else.
[00:01:29] So, God, as we continue our worship now, as we listen to you, speak to us through your word, would you open our hearts to receive it with gladness, maybe repentance, whatever it is that we need, bring us to that point now. Bless this message, and may you be glorified through it, in Jesus name. Amen.
[00:01:53] So our passage today comes from the book of two corinthians, where we're continuing our study, and we are in two corinthians. We're going to finish chapter one and start chapter two. So, two Corinthians. Chapter one, verse 23 to chapter two, verse four, is where we're going to be today. And if you want to, you may turn in your bibles or your tablets or whatever you have. And while you're doing that, I want to just begin with a little story here to kind of get us into the message.
[00:02:24] A long time ago, there was a young man.
[00:02:28] This young man had committed some very serious sin.
[00:02:33] He had hurt a lot of people because of it, and most of all, he had dishonored God because of his sin.
[00:02:43] Many people became very angry at him. I think probably some of them wanted him to just go away.
[00:02:49] But his pastor cared for him very much.
[00:02:53] In fact, his pastor cared for him so much that he actually rebuked this young man. He told him a hard word. It was a word that he needed to hear.
[00:03:04] This young man was very hurt by that as well. In fact, he felt that he had been treated very unfairly compared to what he had done. And he even began contemplating leaving that church because he was so hurt by it.
[00:03:19] But his pastor said what he said because it's what needed to be said. It's what this young man needed to hear. And even though he didn't receive it very well, he still needed to be told.
[00:03:34] That's kind of what was happening at the church in Corinth here.
[00:03:38] There was a lot of sin going on in this church, and Paul had warned them about it in his first letter, but they didn't seem to be getting any better, and, in fact, they really seemed to be getting worse.
[00:03:52] And so after that, Paul wrote a letter that has come to be known as the severe letter. That's kind of what it's referred to in history. We don't have a copy of that letter, but Paul references it here.
[00:04:05] And apparently what he addressed in that letter were these issues that were going on in the church, and he addressed them in a very straightforward manner. He gave them a very hard word, and it was a painful experience. It was painful for the church and it was painful for Paul.
[00:04:23] And it was out of that experience that Paul wrote second Corinthians, which thankfully, we all do have.
[00:04:31] Now, as we get into our passage, I just want to take us back really quickly to something that was mentioned in last week's message. So just as a way of reminder, the first one was about leadership. You might remember that Pastor Craig talked about this right at the beginning, and he mentioned that leadership is about influence. If you influence someone, you're a leader. So, parents, if you influence your kids, you're a leader. I know parents are thinking, kids don't listen to me. Right? But that's not what the point is, right. Actually have influence over your kids, and so therefore, you are a leader in that capacity. You're a leader in your home.
[00:05:10] Some of you might be leaders in your workplace with people who report to you, and maybe you don't even have a title, but that doesn't mean that you don't influence people.
[00:05:22] Leadership is about influence. Second of all, he mentioned that godly leaders don't avoid hard conversations, and that's where we're going to pick up today, actually, godly leaders don't avoid hard conversations.
[00:05:38] So if you're a leader, which would be everyone here, then this applies to each of us in some way. Each of us, maybe at some point might be called to give a hard word to someone. Or maybe you've been on the receiving end of that and you've had to hear a hard word.
[00:05:57] Sometimes leaders have to say hard things that people don't want to hear, like the pastor in the story who had to say something to that young man who was really deep in his sin. And Paul was in that position, too, where he had to say some hard things. And it wasn't just to an individual, it was to an entire church.
[00:06:17] And so we learned through this passage some insight into how and why leaders should approach those conversations.
[00:06:29] So let's look at our passage. One corinthians, chapter one, verse 23. Leaders say hard things, number one, because they have to be truthful. Look at verse 23. Paul starts out by saying, but I call God to witness against me. That sounds like courtroom talk, like someone taking the stand. Like when an attorney says, listen, I'm calling so and so to the stand.
[00:06:55] And what he's doing here, by starting this way, is he's attesting to the fact that he's telling the truth.
[00:07:05] In other words, what he's telling them is, look, if I'm not being honest with you, then let God himself come and give testimony against me. That's how certain Paul was that what he was saying was true. And he wanted them to know that, obviously, if Paul was lying, that's a really serious offense.
[00:07:28] And if God himself comes and rebukes Paul for lying, how terrible would that be?
[00:07:35] So it's a statement of the fact that Paul wants them to know that he is being truthful and honest with them. And Paul's truthfulness was displayed to them in a couple of ways. First of all, it was displayed in writing that severe letter that I just mentioned.
[00:07:57] He had to be honest with them. He had to tell them what was going on. He could not let these things go.
[00:08:04] But his truthfulness was also displayed by explaining to them why he didn't go to Corinth. That's kind of what is going on in this passage. He wants them to understand what happened and why he didn't come to visit them.
[00:08:22] Now, before going on, I probably should say something about just confronting sin in general.
[00:08:29] After all, Paul wrote a severe letter.
[00:08:33] He said something to them that was very hard, and we might ask ourselves, well, why did he do it at all? And the reason is because some sin has to be confronted generally. We can say this as a principle. It's best to overlook what you can when you can. I didn't make that up. By the way, I got that out of a great book that a dear friend lended to me. It's a book on peacemaking. And this is the general principle for how we deal with many things in our lives. Overlook what you can when you can. Many sins don't need someone to come and rebuke us, right? Because we confront them ourselves and we repent, and we realize that we've done something wrong.
[00:09:16] Many things fall into this category. Certainly, we don't need to be going around pointing out everyone's faults all the time. But sometimes sin does need to be confronted, and here's some guidelines we can follow for that. Number one, if it seriously dishonors God, then it needs to be confronted.
[00:09:36] If it's brought disrepute upon the name of Jesus and his church, then it needs someone to say something about it.
[00:09:45] And we can see this today in the world. So many public scandals, so many things that are going on, things that dishonor God need correction. Second of all, if it's permanently damaged a relationship, it needs to be confronted.
[00:10:02] If me and another brother or sister in the church, if we have a problem going on that's not acceptable, that requires someone to intervene and address that issue, because it cannot remain that way.
[00:10:15] And third, another reason might be if the sin has hurt other people, especially if it's hurt them in a really serious kind of way, then it needs to be confronted.
[00:10:27] The problems in the corinthian church were like that. They were too severe to be ignored. Here's just a little example of some of those things. One of them was division. There was a lot of division in this church. There were different groups. So it would be like, kind of like we see here, like this side of the church would all be like, on believing one thing, and they kind of stay together in their clique, and this side is kind of doing their own thing, and they don't get together at the picnic. Both sides just kind of stay on their own side and things like that. That's what was going on in this church.
[00:10:58] Another problem was lawsuits. People were suing one another in this church. Is that amazing or unbelievable? Crazy, right? And Paul doesn't say that it was an isolated incident. He uses the word law suits. It means that lots of people were doing this. This was like a commonplace thing in this church.
[00:11:18] Immorality was another problem.
[00:11:21] And it wasn't just the immorality. It was the fact that the church wasn't doing anything about it. They were just letting it go on.
[00:11:28] And yet another problem was accusations. And this is really where Paul was particularly incensed, because those accusations were being made against him. People were coming in, lying about him and trying to discredit him and his ministry. And ultimately, of course, that would discredit all the work that he was doing for the gospel.
[00:11:51] Paul couldn't overlook these things.
[00:11:54] He could not ignore them.
[00:11:56] Ignoring sin is like leaving a wound untreated. If you have a cut or something and you don't treat that cut, it can get infected people. You know, if you go back 100, 150 years before there were good treatments, what would happen? Somebody gets an infection and they get an amputation, right? They lose a limb because of it. Maybe they lose their life even.
[00:12:20] So what's the cure then? Well, we would put disinfectant on it, but traditionally, what do people do? They put salt on a wound, actually.
[00:12:28] Now, salt hurts. Disinfectant hurts, right? You ever get a cut and put disinfectant on, it feels terrible.
[00:12:36] But that's what needs to happen to make sure that wound doesn't get infected. I heard that in World War Two, they would keep lots of salt on them. So if a soldier was injured, they would just take a bunch of salt, throw it right on the wound, and bandaged it up.
[00:12:52] That just sounds terribly painful to me.
[00:12:57] But as much as it hurt, it kept the wound from getting worse and it kept it from getting infected.
[00:13:05] So Paul's severe letter to them had been like putting salt on an open wound. It wasn't to insult them. It wasn't to add more pain to them. It was to treat the injury and to help them get better. It was for their own good, even though it was very, very painful.
[00:13:25] And it's noteworthy that even though Paul wasn't the one who had committed the sin, it was painful for him to put it on. Right? I mean, you know, parents, if you ever had to put disinfectant on a small child, right, you know, they're wincing. You don't want to do that to them, right. It hurts us in some way, too. We don't want to see our, our children in pain. That's kind of how Paul felt about this church. He didn't want to have to do this, but he had to do it. Speaking the truth is, in fact, the loving thing to do. Ephesians chapter four, verse 15, it says this, we are to speak the truth in love so that we may grow up in every way into Christ. Ephesians 415, speaking the truth is the loving thing to do. Withholding the truth isn't a sign of love.
[00:14:15] Furthermore, speaking the truth is about honoring God and the gospel. First Corinthians, chapter nine, verse 16. Paul said that he was under compulsion to preach the gospel. And then he went on to say, woe is me if I do not preach the gospel.
[00:14:32] Preaching the gospel and honoring God was the most important thing to Paul.
[00:14:38] And what is the gospel? Well, Paul says in Galatians, chapter five, verse one, he says, for freedom, Christ has set us free. What's he referring to there? Well, part of it is freedom from the penalty of sin, meaning that we're no longer guilty before God because Jesus Christ has come and died and rose again, and therefore we cannot be blamed anymore because he took that judgment upon himself at the cross.
[00:15:03] But that's not the only aspect of freedom. It's not just from the penalty of sin. It's also from the power of sin.
[00:15:12] Christ came so that we don't have to live anymore under the power of sin that used to control our lives. Paul says this in Romans, chapter six, verse one, he asks a rhetorical question. Now that we've been saved, he says, are we to continue in sin?
[00:15:30] Verse six? Then he says this. Our old self was crucified with him in order that our body of sin might be done away with, so that we would no longer be slaves to sin.
[00:15:44] We have been set free. Jesus Christ came so that we don't have to live as slaves to sin anymore. Speaking the truth, then confronting people about sin is directly tied to the gospel.
[00:16:01] So sometimes a hard word has to be said.
[00:16:05] So why do people avoid saying hard things then? I mean, admittedly, it's not always something that we do well, one reason I can think of is fear, fear of what the other person might think. What's he going to think if I tell him this? It might be fear of what other people might think. Maybe they think that if I confront someone, they might think I'm kind of a fault finder kind of individual, just going around nitpicking. Maybe it's fear of breaking or losing the friendship or the relationship.
[00:16:39] If I confront him about his sin, he might not respond well and might never want to talk to me again.
[00:16:45] Another reason people avoid saying hard things is because they don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. This is very relevant today, right? I mean, we're very careful today. We don't want anybody to ever be offended, and we don't want to hurt anybody's feelings in the process. And if I say something hard that upsets him, then, you know, it might bother me a lot. It might hurt my feelings in the process.
[00:17:11] Conflict avoidance is another reason we do it. We know that if someone is confronted, they might push back against that. We've had that experience too. I had an employee once who worked for me, and I tried as gentle as I could to ask him about what he was doing, because it wasn't quite meeting the expectations. And he just blew up at me about it.
[00:17:36] I never wanted to say anything to him ever again about anything he was doing, because who knows how he might respond the next time.
[00:17:43] And then of course, there's the desire to be accepted and liked.
[00:17:48] If I confront someone in sin, he might not like me anymore. He might not accept me anymore. And we all have this inner need to be accepted and liked by those around us, so we avoid saying hard things because of that.
[00:18:05] I once avoided warning a friend not to get married, even though I could see, based on everything he was saying that it was going to lead to some very, very big problems. And it wasn't just kind of a last minute thing. I had plenty of time to think about it.
[00:18:21] And he's telling me these things, and I kept wanting to say something, but I didn't.
[00:18:28] And his marriage became a shipwreck.
[00:18:31] I don't know if he would have listened to me, but I felt very convicted later that I wished I had said something to him when I had a chance.
[00:18:41] Now keep in mind, being truthful with someone doesn't mean that we have to list out everything that person has done. Look, some people are not ready and not able to hear everything all at once that they need to be told. Some people need it in small doses, and that's okay.
[00:18:57] It might not require a big, long, severe letter. In that case, with the corinthian church, they needed a strong confrontation. But remember, the goal isn't to crush anyone.
[00:19:09] It's to help them grow. It's to help them become better. It's to bring awareness to the truth so that they can repent and act more like Jesus.
[00:19:22] So leaders say hard things because they are truthful. Number two, they also say hard things, but are sensitive in doing so. Look back at verses 23 and 24. Paul says it was to spare you that I refrained from coming again to Corinth, not that we lorded over your faith.
[00:19:45] There were some accusations being made against Paul. Here was one of them. They said things like this. He's a wishy washy sort of guy. He said he was going to stay, but then he sent a letter and he hasn't even come back you can't trust him.
[00:20:04] And here's the context behind that. Paul had written one corinthians and called them to repent. He pointed out a lot of the things that were going on, and then he told them in that letter that he hoped to be able to visit them soon.
[00:20:17] While he was away, some false apostles, if you will, started to gain influence in the church, and they started spreading false accusations about Paul and attacking his character in order to discredit him.
[00:20:32] So when he went to visit Corinth, as he had decided to do, he was met by a lot of false accusations, and the leaders in the church didn't come to his defense, and so he left after two days.
[00:20:47] So the church was there thinking this guy didn't keep his word. But in reality, Paul had tried to go, but this problem had come up.
[00:20:57] And it was at that point that he wrote that severe letter to them.
[00:21:02] But after writing it, then he was a little worried, maybe that he had done more harm than good. Maybe he had damaged things further by writing that. And thankfully, Titus reported to him that that letter actually had begun to bear some fruit. And so then he wrote second corinthians to defend his ministry and to promote healing. That's why we have this letter, and that's why Paul's saying some of these things here, because he wanted them to know what had happened.
[00:21:31] And Paul says it was for their benefit that he didn't come back, because it would not have gone well for them. In fact, it might have made things even worse if he had gone back.
[00:21:44] Instead, he gave them some space to think about what he had said and to deal with the issues that he had addressed.
[00:21:53] Think about this. If he had shown up, they might have done what he said, but they might not have actually repented. This is like what happens with children. When children do something wrong, we often teach them to say that they're sorry, to apologize. But sometimes children get confused between saying they're sorry and actually being sorry. So they do something wrong and they just say, well, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, right? Kind of flippantly. And then we realize, well, that's not what we really want. We're not looking for them to say anything. We're looking for them to actually be sorrowful over it. And Paul wanted them to actually be sorrowful for their sin. He didn't want them to just show up and say, hey, the boss is here. All right, fine. We'll fix everything.
[00:22:39] He wanted a real change in their heart, and not because he was physically there, but because they were actually sorrowful for their, pardon me, really sorrowful for their sin.
[00:22:52] Paul was very sensitive to this. I'm sure it pained him. He wanted to go there, but he realized it was probably better for him to just stay away a little bit longer. So leaders say hard things, and they say hard things because they're truthful, but they're sensitive in what they say. At the same time, furthermore, they say hard things, three. Number three, for the joy and faith of those who need to hear it. Look at verse 24, the latter part of verse 24. Paul says, we work with you for your joy, for you stand firm in your faith.
[00:23:32] Hearing a hard word often hurts in the moment, but it produces repentance, and that leads to joy and faith in God.
[00:23:43] Listen to what the author of Hebrews says. Hebrews, chapter twelve. And starting in verse ten, it says, disciplines us for our good so that we may share his holiness.
[00:23:54] And it goes on in verse eleven to say, all discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful. Yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards, it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.
[00:24:13] It's for our good to be disciplined, and it's a sign of love to someone, and it produces in us. When repentance has come, it produces in us a joy and even more faith in God. Leaders don't say hard things to humiliate others or to make them feel worthless or to put them down or crush them. It's to help them become more like Jesus.
[00:24:39] Notice, too, in verse 24, Paul says, for you stand firm in your faith.
[00:24:47] Paul's actually commending them here for something. Despite all the sins and all the problems they had, he looked for some positive things and to encourage them in those areas.
[00:25:00] Giving a hard word doesn't mean that we have to just crush someone with everything. We should look for those things that people are doing well and help build on those things.
[00:25:10] Going through this experience also gave them the chance to take ownership of this situation. Their faith would grow by going through this.
[00:25:21] Look, most of us don't want to go through any sort of adversity or hardship. That's the truth. But the reality is we often grow the most when we do.
[00:25:32] That's why the early church grew a lot during times of persecution. Nothing. When things were peaceful, when the church was persecuted, it spread everywhere, and people trusted God more. And this is what we see happening in the world today. Actually, the underground church in places like China is exploding. And why is that? Because it's a persecuted church. There's hardship going on. There's adversity there.
[00:25:57] And going through things like that helps build our faith and make us stronger. And in some cases, going through a hardship caused by sin that brings repentance helps us to grow in our faith as well. Lastly, notice something else that Paul mentions. It's that this is actually a partnership with them. Verse 24. Again, he says, we work with you.
[00:26:25] Corrective action isn't just about telling someone the truth and saying, stop it.
[00:26:32] Why are you doing that? Stop it. Well, I got this problem. Well, just stop it. Right? That's not helpful to anyone.
[00:26:39] Instead, we need to work with others to help them do the right thing. And that's actually what we see in Paul's letters. Paul never, he could have just written a really short letter and said, look, stop suing each other, stop being immoral, stop dividing over silly things and just cut it out.
[00:26:56] But he didn't. He went on and gave some good explanation for that and helped them to have the things they needed so that they could actually overcome the struggles and sins that they had.
[00:27:10] So leaders say hard things for the blessing of those who hear it, but they do it. Number four, while exercising wisdom in using their authority. Look at verses, chapter two, verses one to three. Paul says, for I made up my mind not to make another painful visit to you. For if I cause you pain, who is there to make me glad, but the one whom I have pained?
[00:27:37] And I wrote as I did so that when I came, I might not suffer pain from those who should have made me rejoice. For I felt sure of all of you, that my joy would be the joy of you all.
[00:27:53] Paul's decision to not make another painful visit wasn't some careless, thoughtless kind of sporadic emotional outburst of some kind. It says that he made up his mind about it. In other words, he gave this some thought. Granted, he was only there for a couple days, but he didn't storm out in anger when he found out what was going on. He didn't just run away and say, well, I've had it with those people.
[00:28:20] Instead, it was a deliberate choice because he understood that he needed to use his authority wisely if it was going to bear fruit.
[00:28:30] Now, they may not have understood all this, but Paul certainly did. And that's what he's explaining here. You see, authority creates something that experts might call power distance. I don't know if you're familiar with that term. Power distance has to do with the space between someone in authority and the one under that authority.
[00:28:50] And so, for example, the power distance between me and, say, the president of the United States, that's a really big power distance, right? He's way up here and I'm down here. On the other hand, my supervisor at my job, we have kind of a low power, short power distance.
[00:29:05] We almost work alongside each other in that way.
[00:29:09] But because of this, it affects the relationship between those who are in authority and those who are under authority. And if not recognized, it can lead to some serious miscommunications. In fact, the airline industry suffered from some major problems because of this. The TN RiFA disaster in 1977 is a good example of where this came into play. And later they implemented something called crew resource management to deal with this issue.
[00:29:36] Paul was aware of this long before that, though. He understood that because he was in authority, the way they would receive his words might be different than the way he actually intended them. And that's because for someone in authority, his words carry more weight than if he wasn't in that position.
[00:29:56] So it's like what happens when your boss asks you to do something?
[00:30:02] This happens to me at my job all the time as someone who works for me, and I'll just kind of say, hey, would you mind doing this when you get a chance? And really there's no rush on it. But he feels like, I got to get right on that because my boss asked me to.
[00:30:15] It's like when parents say something to their children, it carries more weight.
[00:30:21] A word addressed as a feather can feel like a ten pound weight. A small bit of feedback, even if it's given positively, might feel crushing.
[00:30:32] A leader might kindly ask if someone wants to do something, but the person who hears it thinks that he has to do it and has no choice. I know one pastor. He had asked somebody if she would want to speak at a conference, and he could see right away that she all of a sudden felt like she had to say yes. And he followed it up right away by saying, you don't have to say yes. It's okay to say no.
[00:30:55] Why? Because just by being an authority, she perceived that differently. If a leader shares a need or asks for advice, the person hearing it might think he needs to meet that need. I heard a pastor share this recently. He said he came to someone in his church and just asked for some feedback about something. He just needs some advice. And that person thought that he was saying that he needed to meet the need. He felt almost compelled to do it, but that wasn't the case at all.
[00:31:23] And sometimes a leader will question something just to get more information, but it's received as criticism.
[00:31:31] That's what happens for those who are in authority. And Paul was very careful how he used his authority. Listen, as an apostle, he had full authority to punish them. He could have gone in there and just laid down the law in that church if he had wanted, but he didn't do it to make things worse. And he would have been full within his rights if he had done that, if he had wanted to go in and punish them. But he realized that wasn't the most effective way to accomplish the Lord's purposes.
[00:32:02] Yes, he could have come in and made them do what needed to be done, but instead he wanted to work together with them and help them to take ownership of it.
[00:32:13] He was also aware that he carried an authority that would be perceived in a way that wouldn't help the situation. So proper use of authority involves restraint, it involves self control, and it involves humility.
[00:32:28] Paul had to go through all those things with this church because he desperately wanted to help them, and he desperately wanted to go there, but he had to pull back a little bit.
[00:32:41] Most of all, using authority wisely means exercising it for the benefit of those who are under them to help them improve and grow and get better. That's a proper use of authority. Those under authority don't always understand the weight that those in authority carry. I'll tell you a little quick story here. I used to work at a Burger KinG a long time ago. Sorry, Robert de Falkenberg, I know you were a McDonald's guy, but I worked at a Burger king, and I always, you know, managers were in the office a lot, right? And I thought, what are they always doing in there? Right? They're just back there. Well, later, when I became a manager, I understood it better. They weren't lazy. They had a lot of responsibility. They had to count all the money. They had to put together all the reports. In fact, they were responsible for everything that happened in the store that was on their shoulders. All I had to do was follow orders. So if he said, go out and sweep the dining room, I'm like, I don't like sweeping. Mopping's a lot more fun. I don't know. I couldn't stand sweeping. But go out and sweep the dining room, I don't want to sweep the dining room.
[00:33:51] But he was responsible for that. He was responsible for everything in the store.
[00:33:57] I didn't understand that when I was under the authority.
[00:34:02] Paul was criticized because he didn't visit the Corinthians. But as someone in authority, he knew that it was the best thing for them and the best thing for him.
[00:34:13] Remember, if leaders hope to bear long lasting fruit, then how we handle our authority matters. That applies to all of us. Parents, teachers, church leaders, people in our jobs. Godly leaders have to say hard things, but they're careful in how they do it. Lastly, number five. They say hard things out of love for others. Look at verse four. For I wrote to you out of much affliction, much anguish of heart, and with many tears, not to cause you pain, but to let you know the abundant love that I have for you.
[00:34:58] It's hard to say hard things.
[00:35:01] Quite honestly, I don't like correcting others. It's one of the most painful things I've ever had to do. And it's true. As a parent, as a supervisor, as a church leader, it is nothing. And parents, again, I know I keep going back to that group, but I think we understand this, right? We don't like, in some sense, having to discipline our kids, right? I mean, is it enjoyable to have to repeat yourself over and over again? Stop doing that. Why are you doing that? Please, I told you already, don't do that. Right? It's not pleasurable, quite honestly. You know, in fact, when I was a child, I was thinking about this, and I would get spanked. My mom would say this. Maybe your parents said it as well. My mom would say, this hurts me more than it hurts you. And I thought, yeah, right.
[00:35:47] Yeah. I didn't understand that until I was a father.
[00:35:51] Then I understood that discipline, administering correction, can hurt as much, maybe even more, than being on the receiving end of it.
[00:36:03] You know, we don't say hard things to our children or I or people at our jobs or whatever, because we like doing it, but because we feel compelled to do it because we love them.
[00:36:14] Paul demonstrated something else here, and that is that if you have a hard time saying something to someone in person, then there are other ways to communicate that. One way is to write a letter. Paul did this a lot with his churches, but with this church in particular, that was the only way he could get things across to them.
[00:36:34] He had to write them a letter because he was not able to confront them face to face.
[00:36:41] I found this to be true in my own life. When my dad was alive, it was very, very hard for me to share the gospel with him. It was probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. And finally, after much agony, I decided to write him a letter. And I mailed it to him. Now, we were only. I mean, we were within driving distance. So it wasn't like we were in another. I could have just driven over there, but I. I couldn't do it. So I wrote this letter out and I mailed it to him. And of course, later he ended up passing away. And that was a great sadness for us. My brother especially. He was very heartbroken and concerned about my dad and whether he'd heard the gospel. But I have to tell you this, that in the years since his passing, that letter has given me much comfort, because I know that I said what needed to be said. I was able to put down on paper what I could not say in person.
[00:37:37] And that letter said things better than I would have said them in person. And all of what I told him, I said because I loved him.
[00:37:48] Paul knew that writing a letter was better than his presence. It was the best way for him to express love for them.
[00:37:58] Furthermore, he knew that what he said would hurt, but he cared for them too much to not say anything at all. Look again at verse four. There's certain phrases in here that I just love. He says that I wrote to you out of much affliction, anguish, many tears.
[00:38:24] And he said it wasn't to cause pain, but so that they would know his abundant love.
[00:38:33] Saying hard things is not to cause pain. It's not to make things worse. It's not to make people feel bad, not to Lord authority over anyone. It's to demonstrate love. Hebrews chapter twelve, verse six, says the Lord disciplines the one he loves.
[00:38:53] God loves us so much that he gives us leaders who are willing to say the hard things we need to hear. And it's not to cause us pain, but to help us grow.
[00:39:06] So what did we learn then through this passage? Well, number one, sin must be addressed.
[00:39:14] The church doesn't exist to make us comfortable in our sin.
[00:39:18] Of course, you know, we don't want people coming in and sitting on seats that are going to leave them sore when they leave or things like that.
[00:39:28] But we don't exist so that everyone can come in and just feel okay about what's wrong in their lives. Because if sin isn't addressed, it gets worse. And so we should leave church each week a little bit different than the way we came in. If I come in here and I sing these songs and I pray and I hear the message and I leave and nothing has changed, then something's wrong with me.
[00:40:01] I need to be changed by what's heard.
[00:40:07] We shouldn't leave church feeling justified in our wrongdoing.
[00:40:13] Sin must be addressed, and that's why the church is here because when sin is addressed, it points us back to the savior.
[00:40:23] It shows us that we can't do life on our own. We can't achieve righteousness on our own. We cannot please God on our own. All we can do is throw ourselves at the mercy of God. And God, who is faithful and just, will forgive us from all our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness and give us the Holy Spirit so that we are able to live in a way that pleases him.
[00:40:53] But the sin has to be addressed to get to that point. People will have no need for a savior if they don't recognize their sin.
[00:41:04] Number two, the things that make for healing sometimes hurt more than the wound.
[00:41:12] I mentioned earlier that sin is like a wound that needs treatment.
[00:41:18] But quite honestly, sometimes it's easier to live with that wound because it doesn't hurt as much as the healing. And so we tolerate it, thinking that it's not so bad.
[00:41:32] In fact, you can leave a wound on your body and choose not to treat it. I mean, if you get a cut, you don't have to put an antiseptic on it. You don't have to put a band aid on it. You can just leave it open if you want. And maybe it'll get better, maybe it won't. Maybe it'll get infected.
[00:41:49] But we do the same thing with our sin.
[00:41:52] And some people think that the treatment just isn't worth the pain.
[00:41:58] When I was diagnosed with cancer, this was a few years back, I was in very little physical pain at the point. When I was diagnosed, the surgery was excruciating. They made an incision in me right here. Of course, I was under anesthetic. I wasn't conscious. But they do an incision here, and they go in and they pull it out. They get the cancerous part out. And then I had to go through three months of chemotherapy. And chemotherapy has all kinds of effects. And it's not just losing your hair. Some people get nausea and vomiting. I didn't have that, but I had something weird happen every three weeks, for some reason, on a Friday night, I'd be in bed sleeping, and I would get this very terrible pain right here in my leg. I don't know what it was. And one night, it was so bad.
[00:42:49] I really wanted to die, to be honest. And my wife, who, God bless her, she took a vow to love me in sickness, not just health. She got up and offered me some ginger tea. And I'm going to tell you, I hate ginger. Okay? She knows this is true. I can't stand it. It's just awful.
[00:43:09] But she said, look, this will help you feel better. So I'm up at two in the morning with this terrible pain, and I'm drinking this ginger tea that I don't like.
[00:43:18] It actually helped. Pain subsided.
[00:43:22] The chemotherapy got rid of the rest of my cancer.
[00:43:26] Surgery healed. Eventually, I got better, but I had to get that treatment because what was inside me was going to kill me. So no matter how much it hurt, in the end, all of that treatment saved my life. Friends, sin is far worse than cancer. It will kill everything in your life. It'll kill your joy. It'll kill your peace. It'll kill your relationships, your marriage, your family. And ultimately, it'll kill even your soul.
[00:43:55] It needs to be treated. Your life depends on it.
[00:44:01] Number three, appreciate the weight of the role God puts you in. Parents, teachers, church leaders, bosses.
[00:44:12] Listen, a godly leader doesn't do this. A godly leader doesn't say hard things because it gives him great pleasure or joy. There is no pleasure. And there is no joy in giving someone a hard word that needs to be said. I will tell you, it is one of the worst things.
[00:44:30] I can't stand doing it.
[00:44:32] If I didn't have to do it, I wouldn't.
[00:44:36] But Paul says this in one Timothy, chapter one, verse five.
[00:44:42] The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.
[00:44:52] That's why leaders do what they do.
[00:44:55] It's why they say the things they do. It's why sometimes people like Paul have to write a severe letter to a church to bring them back to their senses, to call them to repentance.
[00:45:08] Sometimes we need to hear a hard word, too, to bring us back to the savior who died for us and rose again, so that we can live not just free from sin's penalty, but from its power, too.
[00:45:23] In the end, the church at Corinth must have responded well to what Paul said. You know, we don't have that severe letter that Paul references. I wonder if maybe the church read that letter and they got angry and tore it up and burned it or something, crumpled it up and threw it away. But somewhere it must have produced a change in them because they held on to second corinthians, didn't they?
[00:45:45] The hard word they heard ended up making a difference in them.
[00:45:52] I want to conclude here, going back to that story at the beginning about the young man who had been rebuked by his pastor. Well, eventually he repented, and it was very painful at first. In fact, it was so painful, he even had to make a small confession before his church group because it was so serious.
[00:46:12] But after a while, he. After a long while, he eventually started to bear fruit.
[00:46:18] He was like a fig tree that didn't bear fruit. Jesus tells a parable of that in Luke 13.
[00:46:24] But a landowner going out, and he sees a fig tree every year, and it doesn't have fruit. He says, okay, give it one more year, and if it produces fruit, we'll keep it. Well, that's kind of what happened with this young man. And one day there was just a tiny little bit of fruit growing, but, okay, he was starting to bear fruit. Later, he got married. He had a family. He even became a Bible teacher.
[00:46:47] Last month, he became an elder in this church.
[00:46:54] That was me.
[00:46:59] None of those things would have happened if that pastor had not given me a hard word when I needed to hear it the most.
[00:47:10] It produced in me a fruit that was not possible on my own.
[00:47:15] It helped me come back to my senses.
[00:47:18] It helped me realize that I was doing things wrong.
[00:47:23] And God did something amazing in me because of it, something I could not do on my own.
[00:47:31] A leader said a hard word to me that I needed to hear.
[00:47:34] And I trust that he will continue to bring people into my life who will say a hard word when I need to hear it.
[00:47:42] And I trust that the Holy Spirit will work in each of us so that we can respond the same way. Let's pray.
[00:47:50] God in heaven, it's not easy to hear something hard.
[00:47:56] Quite honestly, God, I don't like having my sin pointed out.
[00:48:03] I want to solve things on my own.
[00:48:07] I want to do things on my own.
[00:48:11] Moreover, God, I see that I don't even like to give a hard word. I'm so passive. I'm so complacent.
[00:48:19] I sit by and I let people do things instead of out of love and sensitivity, saying the thing that needs to be said.
[00:48:30] God, I just thank you so much for the apostle Paul that he was willing to put all this down in a letter that we would have now, many years later, to be able to read and learn from.
[00:48:44] Thank you, God, that the church at Corinth received it the way they should.
[00:48:50] Thank you, God, that you have preserved this lesson for us. God, would you work in us now that what needs to be worked?
[00:48:59] We came in here one way today.
[00:49:01] God, may we leave just a little bit different.
[00:49:04] In Jesus name, amen.
